Untied Shoelaces: Insecurity’s Scream
I could hear the fight from the trail below me as I climbed Pinnacle Mountain. Actually, everyone in the vicinity of the snaking path could hear the epic battle of wills between the frustrated father and his stubborn son on the crowded mountainside.
“Son, I mean it. Stop and tie your shoe.”
“No, I don’t want to.”
“You’re going to trip and get hurt.”
Silence as the determined boy marched past his father.
“Ethan, I mean it. Stop right now and tie your shoe. It’s an order.”
“I won’t!”
By now, the father is so angry he’s almost screaming. “Fine! If you fall and break your neck, it won’t be on me!”
Little Ethan huffed. “I’d rather break my neck than stop and tie my shoes.”
I could almost hear the exhausted father ripping his hair out at the roots. “Why? Why on earth won’t you just stop and tie your blasted shoe?”
Little Ethan turned, a scowl on his freckled face. “If I stop, everyone around us will think that I’m tired! That I’m a wimp! I’m not going to stop and let them think I’m not tough enough to climb up this mountain!”
The father scratched his head. “Maybe they’ll just think you needed to tie your shoe.”
Ethan shook his head. “No, it’s not worth the risk. I’d rather fall than anyone think that I’m a wimp.”
That, my friends, is rampant insecurity on display.
Have you ever been there? Insecurity makes us jealous. It makes us control-freaks. It causes us to wallow in suspiciousness. Insecurity births braggarts, fits of temper, infidelity, needing constant validation or the inability to be happy unless everyone around us is happy. Its nagging voice makes us think the worst of others, assigning them motives that don’t exist. In short, insecurity causes us to do the stupidest, and sometimes, most harmful things imaginable…not just to ourselves. It colors and stains every single relationship in our life.
Boiled down to it’s most fundamental existence is this: insecurity is a lie from Satan that screams, “You’re not good enough.”
There is no louder scream than insecurity.
And there is no greater display of insecurity than when we compare ourselves to others. Have you ever heard the saying, “Comparison is the thief of joy”? It’s true. Painfully so.
In my own life, these kinds of refrains are common: “If I could just sing like Mariah Carey… If I could only write like Francine Rivers… If I could just speak like Beth Moore…if I was as funny as Tim Hawkins…”
Please tell me I’m not the only one.
The problem with insecurity in the life of the child of God is that it devalues a person He’s made for a glorious purpose. You.
“Your eyes saw my unformed body: all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.” (Psalm 139:16) Before you ever took a breath, God had a distinct plan for your life and that plan did not include having you pretend to be someone else.
The world already has a Mariah Carey, a Francine Rivers, a Beth Moore and a Tim Hawkins. The plan for your life is distinct for you.
If you’ve been inspired to write a song, rejoice. God gave that unique idea to you. If a story is inside of you just begging to come out, be glad. For He gave that story to you. If you fear you are royally messing up as a parent and that things will never get better with your children, take a deep breath. He entrusted those precious lives to you.
My friends, it’s time to silence the screams of insecurity and replace them with God-worth.
God-worth is knowing Who we belong to. It’s grasping hold of the truth that Jesus thought you were so valuable, He went to the farthest lengths possible to save you. He would have rather died, died, than leave you in the dark.
That is true love. And it makes each of us more precious than all the silver and gold the world could contain.
Insecurity screams, “I’m not as good as _________.” But having a healthy God-worth says, “Another person’s talents and abilities does not diminish my own.” Insecurity shouts, “I have to be perfect or no one will accept me.” God worth whispers, “God’s unconditional love for me never wavers, whether I’m at my best or scraping bottom at my worst.”
If you’ve given your life to Jesus, you’re redeemed. Protected. Fought for. Sheltered. Precious. An heir. Royalty. Loved.
“…being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.” (Philippians 1:6)
Cling tight to that truth, my friend.
Comments 7
Tara, such true, life-affirming words! I’m so glad you wrote on it. It’s a timeless message.
By the way, I have a boy like the one you described. Lived that sort of argument.
Oh, girl, I feel your pain! lol And for me, being the insecure person I am, would say, “Why doesn’t he listen to me? Am I a bad mother? What have I done wrong?” Yada, yada, yada. As a recovering people pleaser, this is an area I’m still working on all the time. I’m tired of letting Satan make me question my worth in God’s eyes. 🙂
Yea, I’ve been in that mommy place too. Still am some days. ?
Beautiful blog/site from beautiful you! I’m thrilled you’re here so I can have some ‘Tara time’ regularly:) Bleessings on your new online home ??. You do many things well and this is only one of them!
Laura!!! You are such an absolute delight and one of the sweetest (and most talented) people I know! HUGS
LOVED this!!! And SUCH wisdom.
One of my boys was like that, and my husband still is, but grace and calm seem to help. SEEM. Sometimes it’s a God thing that nobody gets cabbage tossed at them.
I have a feeling my little man Nate is going to be the same way…stubborn! And speaking for myself, I’ve discovered it’s much easier to see it in others than myself. :/