Life Advice from a Civil War Woman

You’re living in trying times, my friend. Trust me, I have an inkling of the discomfort you bear. Instability and chaos on every side, opinions being flung about with startling force, political upheaval, food shortages, and financial distress. It’s difficult to sleep some nights, isn’t it?

But take heart. I survived and so will you. By the grace of the Almighty, you will come through this trying season stronger and wiser. But if you care to receive some prodigious advice from one who has battled through one of our nation’s most difficult hours, I would be so inclined to lend my thoughts towards successful living.

1. You may be called to work hard. Rise up and meet the challenge. And this work may not be perceived in the manner you thought it would. You might be asked to cultivate crops for the first time in your life. You may be asked to become a caregiver to those who are ailing around you. You might be called to speak out as a patriot for your government, or work in humble quiet to subvert evil around you. With God’s help, you can rise up.
2. Never speak in a loud, course voice. It’s unbecoming. You catch more flies with honey than vinegar.

 

3. I have lived through food shortages and bread riots. Never be ashamed to eat simply. Learn all you can from living off the land, as well as cooking meals requiring few ingredients. Barter with your neighbors for goods and services. And if you’re afraid rioters will come take your food stores, find clever places to hide your food. I once buried a ham in the backyard to keep it from Johnny Reb. My friend buried her cornmeal, flour, salt and spices under the floorboards in her house. Live smartly, not elegantly. There will be time for dinner parties later.

4. Never sit with your legs crossed. The only exception is your ankles, which is permissible at times. Anything else is simply vulgar. You’ll lose all credibility with those you hope to influence for the good.

 

5. A true gentleman will take off his hat in your presence, will never touch you (especially your waist), and would never dream of asking you questions. If a man behaves in an unseemly manner, he is a ne’er-do-well and should be properly dismissed.

6. Daily meditation with the Almighty is necessary for all aspects of strength, peace and joyful living.

 

7. Although my mother was a strong advocate against the wiles of tobacco, I have found snuff to be a rather enjoyable habit.