My heart hammers as the doors open wide. Smiling faces blur. I duck my head. Greetings call out and all I long to do is drag in one free inhalation of air. Breathe in, breathe out. I come yet again to the place where I was wounded, yet I know it’s where I should be. Why is this so hard? How strange that both Hope and Goliaths should occupy the same pews. Music floods the air. My mind struggles to focus on the words, the Read More
anxiety
What You Can’t Take Back
I watched the teenage girl in the pew, her arms hugging her torso, cheeks flushed red as she stared at the floor. The rest of the congregation was singing some worship song about peace being found in God’s presence but not her. She looked trapped, blue-eyed gaze darting from side to side. My heart ached as I studied her. She had told me of the crippling anxiety that marked her days. Facing each morning with grit was a victory. Just when she had begun to Read More
Hippie Gospel
I’m disillusioned. I’ve lived my entire life in church, nestled safely inside the Bible Belt and surrounded by believers just like me—flawed people who desperately love Jesus and are trying to do their best to figure this whole Christian-Living-thing out. None of us are perfect. Churches can be pretty messed up places because, well, they are filled with broken, sinful people. Just like in Walmart. Just like in McDonalds. Just like in our homes. During the past year, I’ve watched a loved one battle the Read More
When You Can’t See God
Magic Springs wore me out last week. Correction. The heat, combined with my children’s nonstop energy, wore me out. The amusement park nestled in the outskirts of Hot Springs, Arkansas is a popular place to take families for summer fun where they can zoom down water slides, swim, splash in freeze zones, play games like bumper cars or catch a ride on numerous pulse-stopping roller coasters. After hours swimming in the hot sun, the older kids wanted to ride a coaster. My friend offered to Read More
Living Like Sugar
Our house was hopping this weekend. Teenage girls and giggling preteens were everywhere. Nate zoomed through the chaos in his normal Hulk-ish style. Movies, candy, tasting challenges, raucous laughter, Youtube videos, card games…there was noise coming from every direction. Most in the house had a blast…with the exception of our dog Sugar. Poor thing. She’s ten years old. Far too elderly for whooping and hollering, high-pitched squeals and pounding feet. She’s suffered enough living with Nate. In the middle of the bedlam, I moved to Read More
Worry Squashing: How a Princess Can Get Rid of the Peas Under Her Mattress for Good
On Wednesday nights, I’m teaching a group of teen girls about being God’s princess. We’ve used classic fairy tales as a springboard into learning what it means to be an heir with Christ. It’s been a fun and exciting study, and now we’re embarking on a new princess. A less famous princess than some: the poor, exhausted girl from The Princess and the Pea. Remember her story? Through a series of misfortunes, she arrives drenched and mud-splattered at an enormous castle. In her disheveled state, Read More