A cold, clenched stomach. Darkness. A pounding heart. All you want to do is hide. You beg the eyes fixed on you to disappear but they won’t. They gape and you wonder what they must think, how they must see you. You feel worthless. Exposed. I’m talking about shame. Is there a more miserable feeling? Growing up with a seizure disorder left me with plenty of fodder for times to reflect on this feeling. Most of the time I felt normal. Included. And then suddenly, Read More
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The Underground Railroad and God’s Navigation System
In my debut novel Engraved on the Heart, Keziah Montgomery fights against her family, her culture and her own battle with epilepsy to lead slaves to freedom through the Underground Railroad. Like many, I had learned about the Underground Railroad in school but was unaware of the delicate and highly intrinsic system of unspoken communication the Railroad utilized. Messages had to be screamed in silence, urgency carried through the façade of the mundane. How were these brave men and women scattered across multiple states able Read More
Counterfeit: The Art of a Con
A counterfeit is only good if it looks like the real thing, and there are con men who dedicate their entire lives to the art of cheating someone out of a dollar, their livelihood, or their life. According to infamous hustlers, great con men succeed in three areas. First, they are good listeners. Forget about that silver tongue. A cheater knows how to patiently listen for pertinent information they can then twist for their own purposes. Second, hustlers can fool someone through social credentials. A Read More
Charlotte Elliott: Just As I Am
It’s been a rough couple of weeks. End of the year school activities. New summer schedules. Church classes to teach. Writing deadlines and an upcoming book to launch. Loved ones in the hospital and children going through tough stuff. Life can sometimes keep us spinning. To use a Southern turn of phrase…I’ve been dragging tail. I confess I’ve begun to wonder, “What if the demands never ease? What if I fail my kids? My family? My church? What if I can’t keep it together until Read More
Another Christian Cliche: God’s Strongest Soldier
I’ve seen the photos and memes of one particular phrase floating around the past several years and I bet you have too. It’s this: God gives the hardest battles to his strongest soldiers. Judging by how frequently it’s shared, it’s a rather popular sentiment. After all, it sounds good. Perhaps even a trifle comforting. There’s nothing we need more in the middle of our personal storms to know that our crisis won’t destroy us. That we’re strong enough to handle it and emerge victorious. I understand Read More
Fear is a Liar
The opposite of love is not hate. It’s fear. How many lives have been destroyed because of fear? How many marriages ruined, how many children scarred, how many dreams unfulfilled and how many people chained in the terrifying prison of addiction because of fear? So many of us are experiencing a life half-lived. We cower in the shadows, afraid to confront the wounds we need to expose to God’s light. This hissing snake tells us no one will understand if we share our feelings. It Read More
Broken But Never Worthless
In my debut novel Engraved on the Heart, the heroine Keziah battles epilepsy at a time in history when epilepsy was widely misunderstood and resulted in many of the sufferers to be placed in asylums. I grew up battling epilepsy as well. I remember the shame, the horror when consciousness slowly trickled back as dozens of wide eyes stared at me in shock. I’ll never forget the frustration of grasping for a gaping black hole of time in my memory that couldn’t be recovered. What Read More
The Broken Piano
“Great musicians should have only the finest instruments in their homes.” The caustic comment from the piano tuner who had curled up his nose at my old spinet piano has bothered me for fourteen years, though I’ve had a hard time figuring out why. I thought maybe it was the man’s attitude when he entered my home. I had been desperately searching for a tuner willing to take on my pawn shop find but from the moment this guy laid eyes on it, his annoyed Read More
Love and Like: When Agape Love is Hard
“Momma, I love you.” “I love you too, buddy.” “Momma, know what else? I like you.” My sweet boy tells me the same paired sentiments day after day, usually multiple times a day. One day, a friend overheard his loving thoughts. “Why does he say the same thing twice?” I smiled as I ruffled Nate’s dark hair. “He’s not. My little guy is pretty wise. He’s learned there’s a big difference between liking someone and loving them.” It’s true, isn’t it? God told us to Read More
The Broken Phone
“You gonna replace your phone?” I’ve heard the question countless times. I suppose it’s a reasonable remark considering the state of my cracked phone screen. How the multiple shards of glass have managed to keep from falling out or cutting my fingers is a mystery. Still, the question rankles me a bit. Why? Because the phone works just fine despite its cracked appearance. We are a people obsessed with perfection. If something is broken, just toss it away and replace it with a new model. Read More