For years, my kids and I have begged my husband to put up outdoor Christmas lights. For twenty plus years he has refused. He knows it’ll be a pain. He fears it will damage the house. I personally think he’s afraid it will look like the Griswold residence and doesn’t want the hassle. Finally, last year he conceded and bought …
I desperately want people to like me. There. I said it. The thought of someone being displeased with me in any way drops a sick feeling in my gut. What’s one way to shake that cold feeling of dread? Work harder. Be more agreeable, more likable. Fit in. Be accepted and never, ever let them see the real you. After …
I’ll never forget the night I told God, “I want out.” I was Miss Christian. I did it all. Taught the classes. Organized VBS. Took the teens to church camp. Always smiling. Always ready to lend a hand. And I was miserable inside. Depression is a silent cry. Likewise, anxiety is a storm of crippling intensity inside the mind, but …
My heart hammers as the doors open wide. Smiling faces blur. I duck my head. Greetings call out and all I long to do is drag in one free inhalation of air. Breathe in, breathe out. I come yet again to the place where I was wounded, yet I know it’s where I should be. Why is this so hard? …
Jesus wasn’t calling. Okay, maybe not. Obviously, Jesus is still in the calling business. Hang with me here and I’ll do my feeble best to try to explain my muddled thoughts. I have to admit it was quite a shock to realize all those years I spent doing and running, spinning my wheels and frantically trying to be a good, …
I’m not a big believer in life verses. It’s too easy to manipulate a verse from the Bible and make it what you want it to be while ignoring context and purpose. But I do enjoy choosing a word for the year. Each year I pray over a word God may have for me. Last year’s word was Sinai. I …
Some days I loathe it. Other days I nearly weep with gratitude for it. Strange dichotomy. Every time I look at that little white pill in my palm, I am overcome with an odd mix of emotions. When I was diagnosed with depression in 2002, I was desperate for relief from the dark shroud that had blanketed my mind and heart. …
It’s taboo. A major no-no. Pastors never deal with stuff like depression. They certainly are never suicidal…right? Um, no. Talk of depression among pastors is often pushed under the rug. Oftentimes, by the pastors themselves. Thom S. Rainer says, “Depression was once a topic reserved for ‘other people’. It certainly was not something those in vocational ministry experienced. Perhaps it would …