In part one, I told you all about how those pesky Disney princess messed me up, as well as diving into how perfectly unhappy I became trying to be, well, perfect. Am I the only recovering perfectionist out there? I left you dangling with this question: now that we recognize the problem, and see what causes it, what will we do about it? 1. First of all, remind yourself that God loves you no matter how well, or how poorly, you perform. “In all these Read More
unconditional love
Shattering the Fairytale: When Perfect Isn’t Enough
The Disney princesses messed me up. I confess I had quite a fascination with them when I was growing up (after I finished my Princess Leia phase, that is). I was going to be as beautiful as Aurora and I was going to have a grand adventure like Belle. And I was going to be a singer like Ariel. Or at the very least, a marine biologist. But let’s get real for a moment, shall we? There was one big problem with all those Disney Read More
Would You Love Me Even Then?
Grace is sticky. I’ve pondered the best way to describe it for years and that’s the best adjective I can use. Sticky. It won’t let go. It clings. No matter the condition, grace stays, refusing to let go or give up. It extends love and blessings over and over again. My son and I often play a little game called “Would You Love Me Even Then?” One of us asks the other if we would still love each other if crazy things altered our appearance, Read More
The Redemption of Kip
“Runt.” “He’ll never live.” “He’s so scrawny.” I don’t know what I did wrong. I was born, I guess. While all my brothers and sisters were cute, wriggly little pups, I was the outcast. Never expected to do much. To be much. At the pet store, the chubby, groping fingers of girls and boys would rove over all of our heads, scratching our ears, picking us up and snuggling their cheeks next to ours. Such happy feelings filled me, I couldn’t help but lick their Read More
An Open Letter from a Recovering People-Pleaser
I’ve had to learn some things the hard way. After years of exhaustion, of disappointment, of hiding behind my masks, of dark depression, I’ve learned that people pleasing may always be a battle for me. A daily battle. It’s a lie that I believed for far too long—mainly, that approval and love are the same thing. However, as God has peeled back layer after layer of my masks and choices, He has helped me understand that approval and love are not the same thing at Read More
Jesus Wasn’t Calling: How I Learned to Walk Away from Perfectionism and Self-Inflicted Martyrdom
Jesus wasn’t calling. Okay, maybe not. Obviously, Jesus is still in the calling business. Hang with me here and I’ll do my feeble best to try to explain my muddled thoughts. I have to admit it was quite a shock to realize all those years I spent doing and running, spinning my wheels and frantically trying to be a good, little Christian girl for Jesus weren’t for Him at all. They were for me. When the truth hit, it slapped me hard. I’ll never forget Read More
Lie #5: Approval Means I’m Loved
We’re up to lie #5 in our series on exposing the enemy’s schemes…”Approval means I’m loved.” This lie was nearly my undoing. I desperately want people to like me. There. I said it. The thought of someone being displeased with me in any way drops a sick feeling in my gut. What’s one way to shake that cold feeling of dread? Work harder. Be more agreeable, more likable. Fit in. Be accepted and never, ever let them see the real you. After all, if they Read More
An Open Letter from a Recovering People Pleaser
I’ve had to learn some things the hard way. After years of exhaustion, of disappointment, of hiding behind my masks, of dark depression, I’ve learned that people pleasing may always be a battle for me. A daily battle. It’s a lie that I believed for far too long—mainly, that approval and love are the same thing. However, as God has peeled back layer after layer of my masks and choices, He has helped me understand that approval and love are not the same thing at Read More